Halo stories
by Virgil the Grim
Summary: Each chapter contains alot of cursing, and can also contain gore. A bunch of things that happened to Master Cheif during his regular life.
1. Default Chapter

Halo 2 Parady!

Me: Welcome to my first Halo story!

Mew2oflight: YEAH! SO READ!

M. Chief: Thanks for letting me be in the begining.

Me: Thank you for the weapons.

M. Chief: Yeah well so what do I do anyways?

Me: Read this sign.

M. Chief: This is a funny thing about Cheif entering a new world, each different chapter shall be different. also they may be two-parters. Well enjoy!

Chapter 1: The stupidity of Ash.

It seems that Chief had a little problen in one of the Network machines again...

Chief: Look okay I know what I am doing Carlos! (Carlos is his cousin)

Carlos: Look I could just buy a new computer.

Chief: Look I can just fix i- AHAHAAAAAAHHHH! (Gets electro shocked)

Carlos: HOLY SHIT, CHEIF!

Chief: (Is knocked out) xx

Chiefs dream.

Chief: Damn where the fuck am I?

: Hey I heard someone! (Exits from bush

)Chief: Who the fuck are you?

Ash: My name is Ash Ketchem.

Chief: You know your last name sounds like Catch'em.

Brock: I TOLD YOU YOU LITTLE PRICK!

Ash: Hey, so what if my name sounds like that, that doesn't mean anything.

May: Hey Ash who is that?

Chief: My name is 117 Spartin, but everybody calls me MASTER CHIEF!

Max: Yeay,yeay.

Chief: YOU THINK MY NAME IS NOT COOL! (Grabs plasma gerenade and attaches it to Max)

Max: Hey whats thi-(Blowes up throwing bits of pices of organs, mostly the spleen though.)

Ash: (Just looks) NICE ONE!

May: Man I was going to do that! (Holds gerenade thats missing pin) OH SHIT!

Ash: Hey is that that the Mind Reader Counch from Xiolin Showdown? (Grabs it and puts it on his ear) Hmmm... Don't ear any- (Blows up)

Chief: Well he probaly heard a slight ringing sound, but he was nowhere near it.

Brock:... Well I'm gone. (Walks away)

May: Okay. Well best go home.

Chief: Hey whats tha- (Team Rocket crashes on him) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, MY BRAIN!

Carlos: Hey, your awake.

Chief: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!

Carlos: Well you got knocked out from some volt of electricity.

Chief: Next time, I'm wearing gloves when fixing wires.

Moral of story: DON'T WATCH XIOLIN SHOWDOWN!

May: (Walks backon screen) Well that was fun!

Brock: Yeah, we killed to more stunt doubles!

Ash: make that one stunt double.

Chief: When I just first saw him, I knew I would kill him. God, don't bless his soul.

Me: Well read and review. Plus give me some ideas on new chapters.

Chief: BOOM CHACKA LACKA BOOM!

Me: Well... Joins in BOOM CHACKA LACKA BOOM!

Ash,Brock, and May: (Joins in as well)

Every body: BOOM CHACKA LACKA BOOM!


	2. Chapter 2

Me: Well hello and welcome to Halo Stories, re-vamped is whats next!

117: Even I don't know what you mean.

Me: Well it means that the story will ethier be like the last one with cross-overs or the new one which is coming up. Now people read!

Chapter 2: More serious ain't it?

On Earth and for no apparent reason we zoom in to a sniper look out point.

"Lets see what we have here." Roger said to himself as he looked through his scope."Holy shit Elites!" He yelled as he fired his gun. Problem was that all he had left were special radio transponders. He looked at a small rader on his scope and learned an amazing discovery,"Damn I shot twice and they went right on the Elites necks!". He then started to hear there conversation.

"Why are we here?" A Blue Elite asked.

"Well ,Riku, I would say because the damn Phrophets are fucking morons who hate all sentinal live. Hell we knew about this place centuries ago but from the looks of things there goverment covered it all up. Damn government." The gold Elite told him.

"Hey Miko."

"Yeah?"

"How in the name of the Ring's did you get that armor?"

"Stole it. It scares the grunts like hell and the Marines freak out really good as well." Miko told him in a gruff tone.

"Why the gruff tone?"

"Getting sick a bit I guess.This planet's atmosphere is wo-Hey what the hell is that?" Miko asked as he noticed the small blinking light on Riku."Fuck we've been spyed!"

"God damn it seriously? Wel-Hold on I think I found who did it." Riku said as he grabed a Beam Riffel and shot.

"URRRK, BLEEEEEGH!" A sniper BEHIND Roger was killed with a head shot to the head.

"So were we?"

Back at the sniper lookout.

"Bujesus man I thought I-Oh shit this thing is a two way!"

Back to the Elites.

"Well I see the real guy. Should I snipe him?" Riku asked.

Miko responded in his alien language,"Let us fuck with him for awhile first. Re-shoot the dead one then.". Riku did this and they heared Roger say,"Oh thank fucks na-(Gets sniped) OH DEAR LORD MY BALLS!"

"Great Jerelo got him!" Miko yelled.

"Relaxe I got him." Riku told him as he sniped Jerelo in the head.

Morale is: Snipers and campers suck balls. Be a team player or Riku and Miko will kill you.

End.

Me:How was that?

117: I don't have humor installed in me. But from the small "End" program you added, I will at least do that. Yall review this story now!(Mumbles) I sound like a fucking country bumkin when I said that.


End file.
